Udinese Club Focus: My beautiful, black and white, twisted fantasy

This past Sunday, Udinese lost 3-0 to Cagliari. To add insult to injury, the win awarded Cagliari the three points they needed to tie the Zebrette on the table, both with 28 points.

Usually after a loss like this, the ordinary course of action would be to analyze what went wrong, suggest a new strategy, and offer a critical—but constructive—summery of events.

Usually.  But this is Udinese and everyone is sick of beating that dead zebra.

So instead of looking at what is wrong with the current team, let’s just scrap them all together and come up with an ultimate Udinese Fantasy Team instead.

Because, as if head coach Francesco Guidolin doesn’t do this a home every night, over his own, private, Football Manager account.

So, with the in mind, the following diagram is what using Guidolin’s current 3-5-1-1 formation would look like if the current squad was substituted for former Udinese players.

Formation Breakdown

Player Breakdown

Goalkeeper

Morgan De Sanctis

• Time at Udinese:  1999 – 2007
• Current Status: Active (Roma)
• Reason for the Call Up: While Samir Handanovic may have been the more obvious choice, De Sanctis got his first string professional start with Udinese. He was at the club for almost a decade (though as a backup for few seasons) and would later move on to clubs such as Sevilla, Napoli, and (now) Roma. So why De Sanctis over Handanovic? Because in 2007, De Sanctis was so desperate to leave Udinese, he essentially bought out his own contract. Escaping Udinese should not be that difficult.
• Position: Goalkeeper

Defenders

Mehdi Benatia

• Time at Udinese: 2010 – 2013
• Current Status: Active (Roma)
• Reason for the Call Up: Like De Sanctis, Benatia is another Udinese-turned-Roma player, where he is currently in a position to be named top goal scorer for the club. Why not bring some of that talent back into Udine?
• Position: Defender

Roberto Sensini

• Time at Udinese: 1989 – 1993, 2002 – 2006
• Current Status: Retired
• Reason for the Call Up: The Argentine has a couple of titles to his name, including two Copa Americas. Additionally, he has three stints at Udinese, two as a player and one immediate following his retirement; Sensini became the interim coach for the Zebrette for about a month, so why not bring him back one more time?
• Position: Defender

Luigi De Agostini

• Time at Udinese: 1978 – 1982, 1983 – 1986
• Current Status: Retired
• Reason for the Call Up: He’s Friulano, born and bred.
• Position: Defender

Midfield

Martin Jorgensen

• Time at Udinese: 1997 – 2004
• Current Status: Active (AGF)
• Reason for the Call Up: The Danish national has had a solid career, from the beginning when he was named the 1996 Danish U21 Player of the Year to having over 100 caps for the senior national team. He also has European Cup goal scoring experience, which would be helpful for Udinese.
• Position: Right Midfielder

Ricardo Gallego

• Time at Udinese: 1989 – 1990
• Current Status: Retired
• Reason for the Call Up: Though only with Udinese for a short time, Gallego has over 200 caps to his name for Real Madrid, where he a star defensive midfielder.
• Position: Defensive Midfielder

Zico

• Time at Udinese: 1983 – 1985
• Current Status: Retired
• Reason for the Call Up: Because he’s Zico. Or, read why in more detail here.
• Position: Attacking Midfielder

Sulley Muntari

• Time at Udinese: 2002 – 2007
• Current Status: Active (Milan)
• Reason for the Call Up: Like any other players, Muntari got his start with Udinese, having played over 100 games for the club. Unfortunately, Muntari left the Zebrette in 2007 to join Portsmouth, just a couple years shy of the Friulano Renaissance. This would be his chance to join a winning Friulano team.
• Position: Centre Midfielder

Francesco Guidolin

• Time at Udinese: 1998 – 1999, 2010 – present
• Current Status: Active as a coach, but possibly on the chopping block at Udinese
• Reason for the Call Up: Technically, he never played for Udinese, but give the man a chance to be a part of a winning squad with them, geez!
• Position: Left Midfielder

Forward

Alexis Sanchez

• Time at Udinese: 2006 – 2011
• Current Status: Active (Barcelona)
• Reason for the Call Up: Sanchez should not even be on this list because he should have never of left Udinese in the first place.
• Position: Right winger

Striker

Oliver Bierhoff

• Time at Udinese: 1995 – 1998
• Current Status: Retired
• Reason for the Call Up: Like current striker Antonio Di Natale, Bierhoff was known for his perfect marksmanship and his ability to be a lead goal scorer.  With him back in front this team—with any team—the Little Zebras would be unstoppable in front of the net.
• Position: Striker

And there you have it, a practically perfect Udinese squad. And while all the positions may not be exactly logistical, that’s the beauty of a fantasy team: it is a fantasy.

Unfortunately, reality will hit Udinese soon enough. The Zebrette face Milan at home for the early match on Saturday, where both teams will be looking to win, not just for the three points, but to try to salvage their egos.