My name is Tommasso Giulini. You’re probably not aware — they don’t even have a Wikipedia page up on me yet — but I am the new president of Cagliari football club.
Anyways, onto why I am writing you. Admittedly, I was a little naughty this year — but of course nowhere near as naughty as Massimo Cellino who presided here before me — when I fired Zdenek Zeman.
Now I know it wasn’t right, just before Christmas and all, but we’ve been really bad! We are currently 18th in Serie A, three points adrift of safety and I have zero intentions of becoming a Serie B president within 12 months of taking over.
So the biggest present you could give me would be a competent coach who is going to assure our Serie A survival. No crazy Zemanlandia this time please. Just a good, old-fashioned, pragmatic guy to keep us afloat. Loads of media been saying I’m gonna go for Delio Rossi lately. Personally, I don’t have a clue who to get right now; so if you could stuff a coach in my stocking, that’d be great Santa!
Now for few extra gifts if you would indulge me. Could you drop me a special age elixir? We’ve got a few very promising youngsters here like goalkeeper Alessio Cragno, defender Nicola Murru and midfielder Godfred Donsah, who could use to grow faster and benefit from some quick experience to help us stave off relegation.
Could you also bring me some DNA samples from Zlatan Ibrahimovic? See we’ve got Albin Ekdal over here and he’s Swedish too! I figured if we can inject him with some Zlatan DNA then he could become [almost] as good as Ibra. We’ve been very happy with Ekdal so far of course, but I just wanna see more of that hat-trick he scored against Inter.
[youtube]http://youtu.be/jjw7q8wAfZw[/youtube]
Finally, the matching foot for Victor Ibarbo. He’s really athletic but every time I watch him dribble he looks like he’s got two left feet; and sometimes plays like he does… It’s very troublesome!
Feel free to do some sight-seeing of our lovely island of Sardinia if you get a chance as well! I’ll leave you a Nuragus wine, speciality of our island, along with a Cagliari kit signed by Zeman — as I’m sure Rudolph & co. were big fans of the whole Zemanlandia thing.
Salutations,
Tommasso
P.S. If you can’t deliver on all those gifts then just a parachute will do… because that drop to Serie B is gonna hurt otherwise.
